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Bad Minhast Translations: Difference between revisions
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Well, anyway the little hoodlum gorges on the big bowl of porridge and complains that it’s too hot. Wait, how is it the bears left the house and the big bowl of porridge is still too hot? Maybe they nuked it in the microwave and it nearly got burnt. Maybe that’s why the bears left, to let the smoke clear out. | Well, anyway the little hoodlum gorges on the big bowl of porridge and complains that it’s too hot. Wait, how is it the bears left the house and the big bowl of porridge is still too hot? Maybe they nuked it in the microwave and it nearly got burnt. Maybe that’s why the bears left, to let the smoke clear out. | ||
Then she goes to the next bowl of porridge and slurps it all down, then complains that it’s too cold. Well, if she didn’t want bad Dog Speaker porridge - I know that’s redundant, you don't need to say both “bad” and “Dog Speaker food” - she should have left while the going was still good! In any case, she goes to the last bowl and slurps it all up and says the temperature is ok. Did I tell you there’s silverware on the table, and she could have just used the spoons? Well let me ask you, when have you met a juvenile delinquent who was not a slob? And why do bears need spoons anyway? It’s not like they have opposable thumbs! But hey, I’m just the translator, and my contract said to translate this half-wit author’s idiotic story. I tried to tell him that no one in their right mind would believe this sh-[REDACTED]-y story, but he told me to shut up and translate it anyway. | Then she goes to the next bowl of porridge and slurps it all down, then complains that it’s too cold. Well, if she didn’t want bad Dog Speaker porridge - I know that’s redundant, you don't need to say both “bad” and “Dog Speaker food” - she should have left while the going was still good! In any case, she goes to the last bowl and slurps it all up and says the temperature is ok. Did I tell you there’s silverware on the table, and she could have just used the spoons? Well let me ask you, when have you met a juvenile delinquent who was not a slob? And why do bears need spoons anyway? It’s not like they have opposable thumbs! But hey, I’m just the translator, and my contract said to translate this half-wit author’s idiotic story. I tried to tell him that no one in their right mind would believe this sh-[REDACTED]-y story, but he told me to shut up and translate it anyway<ref>This appears to be what triggered Ikkarem, if Chuck did indeed say this.</ref>. | ||
So she went upstairs to the master bedroom where the father and mother bear slept. Yes, they have a bed upstairs, I know this is out of the friggin’ Twilight Zone where bears own real estate, buy luxury furniture, have gourmet kitchens to cook crappy Dog Speaker “food”, and have king-sized mattresses, as well as a Jacuzzi and potpourri in their master bedrooms. | So she went upstairs to the master bedroom where the father and mother bear slept. Yes, they have a bed upstairs, I know this is out of the friggin’ Twilight Zone where bears own real estate, buy luxury furniture, have gourmet kitchens to cook crappy Dog Speaker “food”, and have king-sized mattresses, as well as a Jacuzzi and potpourri in their master bedrooms. | ||