Bad Minhast Translations

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BAD MINHAST TRANSLATIONS!™ is all about translations from a source language to Minhast, or from Minhast to a target language. A BAD MINHAST TRANSLATION!™ is always terrible for various reasons. Some are due to the usual sources of mistranslations, such as a bad command of the grammar and vocabulary of the foreign language to be translated. Other times the translator has a good understanding of the grammar and vocabulary, but gets tripped up on idiomatic expressions. Then there are instances where cultural differences factor in, and the Minhast translator tries to explain why the speakers of a foreign language would engage in such non-Minhast behaviour, such as why anyone would ask for directions when Google Maps is universally available.

In contrast to the Minhast homeland, in the expatriate Minhast communities one should theoretically be able to get a good translation. However, to be Minhast is to be argumentative, and a translation prompt can spark a totally off-topic rant. Eventually, the person requesting the translation will locate it, but it may be in a wall of text, or sandwiched somewhere in a two-hour recording involving diatribe of Flat Earth conspiracists that's only tangentially related to the translation prompt.

So whether the translation is coming from a Minhast student enrolled in a beginning ESOL class, or a bilingualMinhast-Italian speaker in Rome, you'll always get...a BAD MINHAST TRANSLATION!™

Mistranslations from Going Off On a Tangent

Flat Earth Conference Announcement (aka "Raging YouTube Edgelord")

1. Intro: In the expatriate Minhast communities, theoretically you should be able to get a good translation, as most are proficient in several languages. The problem is that oftentimes there’s a lot of editorializing sparked by the translation prompt. That’s because to be Minhast is to be argumentative, especially if it’s a City Speaker ranting about last night’s meeting at the Nefraħ, a Salmon Speaker complaining about salmon roe prices, or worst of all, a Dog Speaker from Hara Prefecture living in Rome as an edgelord of a popular YouTube channel. Which means it may take you hours to find the actual translation sandwiched somewhere in a wall of text, or through hours of recording.

This is why they’re still considered as...a BAD MINHAST TRANSLATION™!

1. Original Text: “The Flat Earthers are coming next week for a conference.”
2. Bad Minhast Translation: “Suspaħtahankilmaksaš? Tasurgansartaharankilmasaš? Ruppasuħsahrak sut kurkaddambarammak intanurratikmaran kassugullikmankilmakš! Ayya, Murkastitahettanne! Takurkāl kirraħtupnaktaħmaništen! Addua wakkaħtam ikmizintakwaskiteradikman asunkirmikmannamā “Yafkuštarrat” naft, ni? Intakwaskiteradiknessamāš išpimarratikmeknessuštūrakkād! Hatā’ wammenehim terad tapkirgimattebbutnessuš! Kaħtamin gaggāradi asumeškekkenu yūtūbiki, bikirgimattebbutnessammaš paxnukturkalkurgekampiš! Wahēk yidikim Lubrianuwastaran raħkuyākašeknessuš! Wahēk Patriummin kazlemekkemmide paxnuteknessukilmaksaš - išpisaxtisattabeknessaš! Yūtupte ikšetaktamakakaru, matti Neyūn min Kirmast Pariski puħtagarragumabanaft duttiyemsiyekarabu wammīn! Wattaħ bakran husnaptaħmahuš? Eyyuhel ixtiduggiweriktittaħmu! Suttan, wakkamtarilkuhaknakkende? Suttan wabbakran kuhakna hittekkenuš…” [See Translator’s note #1]...wa’ēlā eknašnašarat išpilaxmakkikman asunkirmikmannamā “Yafkuštarrat” naft venerdì hanikminessanimmāš kuhaknaytahini kirimtarikminessuš! Suttirrēruman…” [See Translator’s note #2]
3. Actual Meaning: “Are you blind? Haven’t you seen the flyers posted everywhere? It’s gone viral on Facebook and all the other social media platforms! Oh, wait, you’re from America, I forgot you don’t have mobile devices. Did you know there’s a lot of 5G conspiracists among those Flat Earthers? I’ll kill them if they destroy the 5G towers downtown! I’m not going back to 4G! I’ve got 500K subscribers on YouTube, if I go 4G I’ll lose bandwidth, and then that pipsqueak from Lubriano is going to steal my subs! That means I’ll lose my patrons on Patreon - I can’t afford that! I’ve already been demonetized because some butt-hurt Osprey Speaker in Paris filed a false DMCA on me! But what does it matter to you? You still use dial-up to connect to AO-Hell! Oh, and what’s up with your stupid comtrail dingbats? In fact why do you always send us your lunatics…”
   
   

[Translator’s note #1]: I cut out about two hours worth of his rant at this point, as it wasn’t pertinent at all to the translation prompt]“...so of course those insufferable Flat Earth hordes are arriving next Friday to spread their crackpot ideas! And while I’m at it...”

[Translator’s note #2]: the translation (albeit somewhat modified) finally occurred at 51:14 of the recording, so I got rid of the rest of the speaker’s tirade at the 51:20 mark; the rest of the recording went on a tangent regarding the state of the US education system and other non-linguistic topics for another two hours]

Screwing Up Idiomatic Expressions

Getting Directions

1. Original Text: "At the intersection, take a right at the traffic light and continue till you reach a stop sign. Make another right and you'll reach the cul-de-sac. The house will be on your left."
2. Bad Minhast Translation: "Ambuntaħnessammāš yakuddataħnessāš: saryamtuttahammāš yaštahamannimāš niswaktahandūš! Wahēk matti Kambaħš warrā'e, hittazduatahuš! Kurasumhidaštitaħnessammāš asusnurūditaħnessāš!"
3. Actual Meaning: "You will continue on your path and you will have a choice: you can stop, turn from your evil ways, and pursue righteousness! When you see it, stop and accept The Light that appears before you! Otherwise you will be trapped and left behind!"