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Attiess (Attiess Hevriti: אתנְי, Latin: Athnai, /aθˈnai̩/) iss a Attamiess tall dē gipratt vort inn dē Kaukasussberrgs, oss dē grenser oss Georrgiē, Armeniē enn Turrky. Dē heppt gyn gikentnē kolls oss anderr talls, ausdankig oss fillter poggings oss dyling.

Dē tall iss bisgryft givirtē inn dē Kaukasuss zytē oss minnig dē 9^stē iww, oss dē finnting oss dē Hayastanisgryfings, (Attiess: Egrava ta Hayaztan, חגרְוְ טְ חְיְזטְן) a Grikiess bisgryfing oss dē talls inn enn ronnig oss dē Transkaukasiess tarrpings. Dē nuiglyk brykig sgryfings virti gisgrifft oss dē Bizantyngrikiess grautdenker Antenor Erevanon, inn a pogging oss aussúkē dē follksgillighyt inn dē gybess:

I have seen many different men of various posture and pride passing these roads, none less awe-inspiring than the other: The Armenioi, an intelligent breed, clever and calculating merchants speaking a language not too dissimilar to our own. [...] Then there are the Caphessonioi, peaceful, tranquil, with a timid stance towards strangers, speaking a language using the very letters of our own alphabet. The Attnicoi on the other hand, are interesting, a reclusive tribe of people, shy to speak with their proper, unintelligible speech; preferring to use that of their neighbours [...] —-Antenor Erevanon, 9th century Judaeo-Greek philospher and settler, Hayastanisgryfings

Etu ethnema ta etu anzan uʾummen. Ditt tall wast ojjit ytgikist. Maye ta goyotita, ta ethahama, veta vemaguma, uʾunme mumnayyir. Danknē oss dess grat oss gutighyt, moggling enn brykingskunnighyts heppt man dē ytgikist.

The language is being created by the user and administrator Waahlis of Linguifex. Obviously, and almost self-evidently, it has no native speakers and is not the official language anywhere else than in an office. It has no other purpose than to be an excellent display of his personal debauchery and pleasures.